Elisha Vision – Commentary

Would like to know three secrets of our happy and blessed marriage of 53+ years? There are more reasons, but these three are non-negotiable: Faith, Equality, and Honesty. This post came out of a discussion Doreen and I had this Wednesday about this verse.

“As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.”  Proverbs 27:17

I always thought of that verse as “brother to brother” in a spiritual sense, which is true. But now I have seen a deeper meaning when it applies to the relationship of husband and wife. On the “brother” level, it certainly describes the value of  rubbing or sharpening off the rough edges between two believers. But, when applied to marriage, it is life and death. A blessed and successful marriage must embrace the “iron.” Doreen and I rejoiced to see this new understanding from the Lord on Wednesday. And just to make sure we “heard” the Holy Spirit, Doreen’s verse for the day popped up Thursday morning with Proverbs 27:17. How cool is that?

When we first started dating in October of 1964, at Berkshire Christian College, we sort of “stumbled” into three personal commitments that we now know were straight from the Throne of Heaven. We were married June 11, 1967 at the end of Israel’s Six Day War. These three foundation stones of our now nearly 56 years of friendship were laid during a few walks together in 1964.

1. FAITH – Somehow, I am not even sure how it started, we began to say often: “You and me and Jesus.” We still say that in words and/or action virtually ever day since. We also say “I love you!” multiple times a day. We chose to make Jesus the most important One in our relationship, more important than each other.
2. EQUALITY – From the beginning we saw the Ephesians order of relationships. Many study husband and wife starting with  Ephesians 5:23 about wives submitting to their husbands. However, to start there is a colossal error. The previous verse is the start point of our marriage: “submitting to one another in the fear of God.” We are equal before God. Jesus speaking through her has more authority than my own opinion, and Him speaking through me has more than hers. Once that is clear, we can proceed to the hierarchy of family structure that follows. It is in this functional equality that “iron sharpens iron.”  One of the first things that attracted me to Doreen was her strength of character and confidence is her beliefs. When we “discussed” anything it was with 100% conviction both ways and we still enjoy these free “discussions” today. We have never shrunk back from standing strong for our opinions. I value that highly in a person. How we reconcile the times we disagree is another story, but we started by agreeing to never go to bed mad.  “Be angry, and do not sin” Do not let the sun go down on your wrath.  Ephesians 4:26
3. HONESTY – We had a third revelation on our walks. The armor of God in Ephesians 6 starts with: “Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth,” Ephesians 6:14  We mistakenly thought that referred to true doctrine, but it instead means honesty. Be honest. Tell the truth to one another. That is the preeminent piece of armor. If you don’t have truth, you are completely vulnerable to the enemy. On our second walk we vowed to be honest with each other. We even share our thoughts with each other when asked. Wow! That has been pure gold for a living relationship. Thank you, Jesus!

These three accidental vows have guided our marriage consistently. It helps that we had the godly examples of our own parents. My folks dated four years and were married 68 years. When Doreen and I celebrated 34 years, I turned to her and said: “Well, we are half way!” That long view is part of what I hope you get from these musings. One of my biggest heartbreaks is that we have not been better at helping others to find what we have found in our Jesus marriage. It is never too late. Follow Jesus!

Pray for the peace of Jerusalem and pray for Israel rain (and the March 23 election).

Les Lawrence, voice of Christian Zionists                      (Read more)